Feeling Stuck

It often feels as if the world is passing me by. Life goes on for other people and they move forward, but I feel like I’m stuck in the same place. Logically I know that I have made the best choices I can. I cannot afford to stay in my old home and the only choice is to sell it. Also, surgery is the only way I will ever be able to chew my food. Yet as I watch my friends’ lives move forward while mine sits still I cannot help being jealous.

I am currently taking a year off to get jaw surgery. This takes a year because the braces needed to align my teeth before the actual surgery give me daily migraines. Before speaking to the surgeon last August I had intended to spend the year in Toronto taking a Graduate course in editing. This seemed a logical way to improve my Ph.D. application and ensure that I would be accepted next year.

Instead, I am at home with my parents. This is especially isolating as I don’t drive and they live in the country a thirty-minute drive from a small town. There is a women’s group that meets three times a week that I would like to join, but I have no way to get there. I spend much of my time stuck at home pet sitting my father’s dog as it dies of cancer. I constantly remind myself that this is short term and that after the jaw surgery I can look for work and a place of my own.

I am also working on establishing a freelance editing career. I would like enough income to get a place in the city. My eventual plan is still to get a doctorate, however, since I didn’t get accepted into a program this year I hope to work for a publishing firm after my surgery. Currently, I am trying to find ways to stay connected to the world as my situation feels very isolating. I think social media is a great boon in this regard. It allows people to connect with each other and share their lives wherever they are. I also have hopes of this blog. I think that blogs are a great way to build communities of like-minded individuals. I hope if anyone has any ideas about how they get mobile or similar problems they will share their stories.


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