Morphine

Pain surrounds me. I am embraced by it like a lover. The sharp stab wakes me in the night. I look for blood, but there is no relief. Some new agony has come to visit. Later blood comes. Voices now surround me. A cacophony of advice and orders. Pee, don’t pee, drink this, sit here, wear this. As I wait I pace and the pain relaxes its grip. Then forced to lie still I am stabbed once more. More talk whispers, somewhere someone screams. I must lie down; I need more liquid. A nurse comes with a needle. Blessed oblivion.

 

This past week I had my first kidney stone. At the hospital they gave me morphine and I was sent home with a prescription for more. I found the experience terrifying because morphine works. The pain goes away. Yet at what cost? Certainly it is not a drug one can live on. I fear such thoughts sent me into a few days of depression, but it seems pointless to dwell forever on the impossible. Life is there to be lived.

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2 thoughts on “Morphine

  1. I wouldn’t worry about the Morphine. It may surprise you to know that I have lived on it now for 4 years. 70mg slow release twice a day and as many 10mg fast relief as I need in a day, as long as they are 4 hours apart. Yes, they do work, and the hype around this drug is just that. As long as you need it, take it and do so without fear. I am not a junky or anywhere close to that. My mind is still clear and I can think without issue, other than those brought through my PRMS and Fibro. Don’t worry, get well and come off them, when the source of the pain has gone. Unfortunately, mine never will.

    Take care 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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